If I Only Could
by Apocalypse Angel Laiceica
Summary: Sora and Axel have been getting closer over the past few months. What happens when the others take notice? Full Sum inside. Oneshot. Pairings listed inside as well.


Disclaimer:Don't own KH or the song. _Running Up That Hill by __**Within Temptation.**_

Summary: Sora and Axel have been getting closer over the last several months, 7 or 8. Nobody had noticed because they were to caught up in Roxas's relationship with Namine or Riku's and Kairi's relationship with each other. What's going to happen when the four begin to notice the relationship between their two distant friends? Oneshot! Songfic. My second one to be specific.

Pairings:RiKai, RokuNamine, one-sided AkuRoku, RiSo one-sided, AkuSora

Warnings:Character death.

AAL: Well, usually work on HP fanfics but this one just came to me, and so I had to write it. One of my more decent Oneshots. First KH fic, so be semi-nice at least. I happen to like AkuSora as a pairing but I don't think many people appreciate it. So, I'm quite happy that this fic centers around the pairing.

Title: **If I Only Could**

_It doesn't hurt me  
Do you wanna feel how it feels?  
Do you wanna know that it doesn't hurt me?  
Do you wanna hear about the deal that I'm making?  
It's you and me, yeah_

The harsh words spoken had no effect. It was as if his soul and heart had sealed itself, each behind a fortress within each other, within the mind. Rumors spread that he had become cold, that he no longer could feel. That wasn't true.

It was just that he could no longer look at his two best friends without feeling a deep sense of emptiness. It was as if their happiness had destroyed his. Sky-blue eyes watched as they kissed. It wasn't the red-head with light violet eyes he looked at with longing. It was his best friend, the one with silver hair and beautiful aquamarine eyes.

"Sora! What are you doing?" His voice asked, surprised and concern tinging it.

Sora ran a hand through his spiky brown hair as he looked up at his best friend. He was just talking to Axel. Nothing wrong with that. But, then why was his older twin, Roxas, glaring at him. Was that jealousy?

"Just saying thanks to Axel. He walked to school with me when the two of you had gone ahead with Kairi and Namine." Sora informed them, his eyes distant as his feelings were pushed inside a closet within his mind to go over later.

Axel grinned, wrapping an arm around Sora's shoulders. Sky-blue eyes flickered in surprise before meeting bottle green. Axel leaned closer, long spiky red hair brushing against Sora's cheek as they exchanged a few whispers.

Roxas clenched his fist. Sure he had rejected Axel because he was in love with Namine, but that didn't give Axel the right to hang all over his brother. Besides, since when did Axel and Sora hang out?

Axel walked off with a goodbye peck to Sora's cheek.

"Sora. Explain."

"It's nothing Riku, really. Axel's just helping me with something."__

_And if I only could  
Make a deal with God  
And let him swap our places  
Be running up that road  
Be running up that hill  
Be running up that building  
So if I only could_

Sora found himself being watched by Riku and Kairi who started talking to him more. Axel had told him that Namine and Roxas had been hanging out with him more as well. Were they trying to keep them apart?

It wouldn't work. Not in the least. For that wasn't the first time Axel and Sora had spoken with each other.

Nope. They had been talking since the day that Roxas as rejected Axel in favor of Namine and Riku had first asked Kairi out. Which had been a several months ago. Seven or eight maybe.

First it started with texting and e-mails. An acknowledgement that they were both in pain. However, it wasn't enough.

Each time Sora saw Riku and Kairi flirt in front of him it became harder and harder to smile. So he kept pushing his emotions away until it became a second thought. Axel wasn't fairing much better. The whispers of how perfect Roxas and Namine were together was like knives stabbing his heart repeatedly.

Sora was the first to give into the urge of talking over the phone. Their phone calls were private and usually took place when no one was around.

However, the worst came to Sora in the form of what Riku had considered good news. Riku had made love to Kairi in The Secret Spot on the play island.

Sora smiled, barely just managing to, and offered Riku his approval. On the inside his heart broke, having hoped Riku and Kairi weren't serious at all.

That night, Axel had snuck into Sora's room to offer what comfort he could. Sora had cried, clutching Axel as some sort of life line.

"I'm here, Sora. I'm here."

Strangely enough that was all Sora wanted to hear, it was all he needed.

Bottle green eyes glimmered in the darkness similar to a cat, holding Sora until the sun began to rise.

Sora woke up alone, but he knew that Axel had stayed with him as long as possible. __

_Don't wanna hurt me  
But see how deep the bullet lies  
Unaware I'm tearing you asunder  
Oh, there is thunder in our hearts  
_

Axel smirked as he saw Sora in his room. He had given Sora a key to his house a few days after Sora had cried himself to sleep.

"They don't seem to approve of our relationship, but of course they don't quite know what it is." Axel smirked.

Sora smiled. "It took them this long to realize we were even talking, so I don't think their opinion really counts."

Axel nodded. "Movie?"

"Sure. Wait, what type of movie?" Axel had a glint in his eyes, one that Sora had come to know well and didn't like.

Axel's smirk widened. "Horror. What else? It's to celebrate our fifth month of friendship."

That's right. It had been five months since they had officially acknowledged that at some point they had become friends.

It was the day that Axel had caught Namine and Roxas together. Of course they never knew that Axel had caught them in the act. What was worse was that they had been in the one place Axel and Roxas used to go when they just wanted to be in each other's company.

It was as bad as Riku and Kairi.

Axel had asked Sora to stay with him that night. They had watched horror films to take Axel's mind off of it. It worked quite well considering Axel ended up having to hold Sora and comfort him. Apparently Sora was easily scared even though he loved horror films. Axel found it quite amusing.

Over the next couple of days Axel had destroyed his friendship with Roxas, Namine, Riku, and Kairi with little effort. Sora stayed over during those days so he could be with Axel to offer his support.

Axel had gone back to his previous friends and they had accepted him as if nothing had happen. However, there was one difference about the group known as Organization XIII compared to before. Sora had silently replaced Roxas's spot in secrecy.

When Roxas discovered that he had been easily kicked out from the group and replaced just as easily he tried his hardest to find out why and who.

The only thing he discovered that it was Axel's idea to replace him and kick him out officially.

Roxas had gone on about it for days before Namine distracted him.

However, Roxas still felt hurt that Axel could do that to him. Especially after claiming that he had loved Roxas.

_  
__Is there so much hate for the ones we love?  
Oh tell me we both matter, don't we?  
It's you and me that won't be unhappy_

Sora was with Axel whenever he could be, and Riku found himself missing his best friend. Especially now that Sora seemed to be reverting back to his usual happy self. However, Riku noticed that Sora only did so when he was around Axel.

Why? Wasn't he enough? What about Kairi?

Kairi had expressed that in her opinion it seemed as if Sora and Axel were a couple, not just friends. Riku and Roxas weren't sure what to make of that statement. Namine didn't help their confusion at all when she agreed with Kairi. The two girls whispered excitedly to each other.

Unlike Roxas and Riku, they had noticed that their relationships had been what drove the two together. They were kind of sad though. Sad that they couldn't be good friends with Sora or Axel like they had been because of their relationships with Riku and Roxas.

Still it was obvious to the two of them that if Axel and Sora weren't a couple yet, then they would be eventually. Sora was quite happiest around the pyromaniac, and said pyromaniac was his usual self only around Sora.

It was as if the two had tucked all of their emotions away, only to have said emotions come out when they were with each other.

"So, are we going to the café after school?" Axel asked.

Sora nodded his head so fast that Axel feared he nod his head off. "Yeah. I can't wait. Cafeteria food sucks."

Axel chuckled, as he grabbed the excited head and gently slowed it down.

Sora smiled shyly at him, and Axel found himsel returning the shy smile.

Indeed, the two were slowly falling in love with each other.

Roxas glared at the ground, and Riku did his best to ignore the scene before him. He failed misserably.__

_And if I only could  
Make a deal with God  
And let him swap our places  
Be running up that road  
Be running up that hill  
Be running up that building_

Riku and Roxas followed Axel and Sora to the café, only to realize the two were meeting up with Organization XIII.

Zexion handed Sora the customary outfit that the Organization wore while Axel pulled his out of his backpack.

What was going on? Riku wondered.

Sora? Roxas wasn't fairing much better.

Larxene, who had hated Roxas, wrapped her arms around Sora. Cooing. "So, have you two hooked up yet?"

Sora blushed. "N-not yet. We don't want to rush things."

Larxene nodded in approval. "Axel, dear, your new choice of friends is better than last time."

"Glad to have your approval." Axel smiled genuinely.

Riku's thoughts froze for a brief second before rushing to make sense of things. Roxas's eyes narrowed.

"Hey Sora," Marluxia sat down acroos from Sora, "I have an opening in the shop, that is if you're still looking for a part-time job."

"Really?"

Axel immediately wrapped himself around the smaller male. "Noooooooooooooooo!" Axel whined. "I don't wanna share my Sora."

Sora laughed as Larxene spoke. "Well. He's not your's until you claim him, right?" She stated, pushing Axel away from Sora and wrapping herself around said person.

Zexion smirked behind his book. Things were better with Axel back and with Sora as a part of the group.

"So, who else is suppose to be coming?" Sora asked having calmed down.

"Soraaaaaaaaaaaaaaa." Axel whined playfully.

"Axeeeeeeeeelllllllllll." Sora whined back.

Marluxia smiled as well. "Xaldin, Demyx, and Vexen?"

Zexion shook his head. "Not Vexen. Lexeaus."

"Ah."

Roxas and Riku shared looks. They would confront Sora later. For now they had heard enough.__

_And if I only could  
Make a deal with God  
And let him swap our places  
Be running up that road  
Be running up that hill  
With no problems_

Sora looked between Roxas and Riku. Why were they giving him such cruel glares?

"Sora, want to tell us why you were meeting Organization XIII with Axel?" Roxas was the first to break the thick silence between the three of them.

Oh, so they had been followed earlier. Zexion was right. Why had they followed him and Axel?

"I really don't see why I should tell you." Sora grumbled.

Roxas growled in warning. "Sora, I don't want to be playing twenty questions with you!"

"Then don't."

"Sora!" Both Riku and Roxas yelled at him.

Sora could feel his emotions getting to him. Shaking he answered, knowing it would only make the two before him even more angry. "I' part of the group now. Number…XIII specifically."

"What?!"

Roxas was taken aback. His younger twin brother had replaced him in the Organization, and quite easily from the looks of it. Roxas suddenly felt betrayed.

Riku also felt a twinge of betrayal, but it wasn't as strong as what Roxas was feeling. Riku knew that some how it had been them who had betrayed Sora and Axel fiirst in some way. He could understand that.

Riku was now beginning to understand what Kairi and Namine had been trying to say.

Quickly, Riku grabbed Roxas, to hold him back. "Go Sora." Riku gasped out as he struggled to keep Roxas wihin his hold.

Sora ran. He didn't need to be told twice.__

_C'mon baby, c'mon c'mon darling  
Let me steal this moment from you now  
C'mon angel, c'mon, c'mon darling  
Let's exchange the experience_

Axel moved aside to allow Sora in. Closing the door, he found Sora huddled underneath the black and red blankets on his bed.

"Sora?" Softly.

Axel sat down beside Sora, rubbing Sora's back through the blankets.

"Roxas hates me. My twin hates me." Sora's voice was muffled but Axel could tell that Sora was holding back tears.

"What happened?"

"They found out about the Organization."

"Ah." Axel didn't need to be told who they were. It was quite obvious to him. Roxas and Riku.

Axel was so lost in his own thoughts that he was surprised when he felt a soft pair of lips on his own. Axel lifted a hand to Sora's cheek. He knew what the kiss meant. They had agree the that their first kiss together would indicate that Sora was ready for something more intimate.

Axel gently pulled away. "Are you sure? You're not rushing because you feel you have to?"

Sora smiled, determination shining in his sky-blue eyes. "I'm sure. Just go slow?"

"If you wish." Axel smiled softly.

It was obvious Sora wanted comfort, but just as equally Sora was ready for this.

That night the two made love to each other slowly, gently. They would worry about Roxas tomorrow.

They could now be truly considered as a couple.

A couple weeks passed, and Sora stayed at different houses belonging to Organization XIII. Roxas apparently had been threatening to physically harm him if he saw Sora at all. Sora's mom had called, requesting that Axel keep Sora as safe as possible.

Currently, Sora was staying with Zexion. So far he had stayed with Xigbar, Vexen, Marluxia, Demyx, and Larxene.

Not seeing Sora, had pissed Roxas off more than they had first thought. Roxas was now actively seaching for his twin.__

_And if I only could  
Make a deal with God  
And let him swap our places  
Be running up that road  
Be running up that hill  
Be running up that building_

Sora was out of breath and now he was cornered on a cliff located on the play islands.

Earlier, Demyx had rushed over to Xemnas's house to warn Sora that Roxas had found him. The Organization agreed to give Sora time to run.

Sora made very good use of that time, but Roxas had remained one step behind no matter what.

Standing on the cliff, Sora could feel the anger, jealousy, and betrayal rolling off his twin in waves.

Axel and Riku had been trying to track Sora and Roxas down all day. Axel had a very bad feeling, and Riku felt it as well. Something was going to happen, and both were determined to stop it.

Looking up at the play island, Axel spotted two figures. Grabbing Riku, he growled. "Quickest way to the top of the cliff?!"

Riku glanced to where Axel was pointing, paled, and quickly gave the directions.

Axel threw him aside. Running as fast as he could, following Riku's directions without any hesitation.

Roxas calmly watched as his brother fell toward the raging waters below. All the anger, jealousy, and betrayal dissolving leaving nothing behind.

Sora had fought, but he had always been a better fighter than Sora, even if Sora was a decent rival when it came to skills.

Roxas stood there watching not expecting anyone to have figured out where they were. Therefore, he was shocked to see Axel rush pass him and jump after Sora.

Riku joined him on the cliff. His breathing heavy.

The two watched as Axel wrapped his arms around Sora in a protective embrace in the last of the sun before twilight. They could see Axel use his own body to sheild Sora from the impact.

They waited. One not feeling anything and the other hopeful.

No one surfaced.

Roxas turned and walked away. Riku collapsed and cried for his best friend and Axel.

Kairi, Namine, and The Organization XIII members found him still there in the morning.

Kairi and Namine hugged Riku, all three crying. The Organization memmbers remained silent. Some crying quietly and others not able to bring themselves to speak or to cry.__

_So if I only could  
Make a deal with God  
And let him swap our places  
Be running up that road  
Be running up that hill  
With no problems..._

The End

AAL: I was going to write more but I liked the ending there. So, how did I do for my first KH fic? I'm sorry if I confused anyone.

I know that the idea has been somewhat used even if in a different way, but I think mine was a little different overall.

Sniffs.

I didn't want Roxas to kill Sora, but it came out that way. I like Roxas too much to make him into a coldhearted murderer… but he still ended up that way. That makes me sad.

To tell the truth, I wan't expecting it to end this way, but once the idea came into my head it wouldn't let me write anything else. So that's how it came to be.

Man. Now, I'm really sad.

R&R please.


End file.
